You lose your voice, → you become passive, → others think you can't make decisions for yourself, → you lose your voice even more.
Controlling love isn't complete love.
One of the hardest things is that this oppression often comes from those closest to you: children, partners, family. They think they care, but they confuse protection with control. And to avoid conflict or out of fear of being alone, you start to give in.
First clothes, then food, then money, going out, important decisions. Until one day you realize you no longer know who you are or what you want.
Accepting help isn't the problem. Accepting help that strips you of your dignity is the problem.
The Inner Enemy: Inner Ageism.
After years of hearing platitudes like "you're too old for this," many people end up believing them. The inner voice that says, "I can't take it anymore" or "it's not worth it" isn't something we're born with: it's something we learn.
This is called internalized coercion, and it's one of the biggest obstacles to regaining autonomy. As long as you believe you can't do something, you'll act as if it were true, reinforcing your prejudices.
The good news is that we can break this cycle with awareness, action and new ways of thinking.
Practical tips and recommendations
Protect your right to decide:
