Turning seventy doesn't automatically mean becoming invisible, incapable, or dependent. However, for many, this stage brings a quiet and painful change: they are no longer consulted, but begin to be corrected, observed, or have decisions made for them by others with "good intentions." What was previously respect for experience gradually transforms into control disguised as care.
Many older people are starting to notice something disturbing: people calling them names, making decisions without question, questioning their judgment, and justifying everything with platitudes like "it's for your own good" or "you shouldn't be doing this at your age." While this treatment may seem harmless or loving, it has a name and serious consequences.
Infantilization: Silent and Normalized Violence
Infantilizing an older person means treating them as if they have lost the ability to think, decide, and understand. This isn't always done with malicious intent. It often stems from fear, misguided love, or a culture that equates old age with uselessness.
The problem is that when others constantly make decisions for you, you lose not only your autonomy: you begin to lose your identity. You stop feeling in control of your life, and over time, you even begin to doubt your own abilities. This process is slow but devastating.
In psychology, this phenomenon is called learned helplessness: it is a situation in which a person, after many experiences in which they were unable to make decisions on their own, stops trying, even if they are still capable of doing so.
The high
cost of losing one's voice. Losing autonomy affects more than just one's emotional state. Research shows that older people who retain decision-making ability live longer and enjoy a better quality of life. The brain needs to make decisions, solve problems, make mistakes, and participate in life. When it stops doing these things, its health deteriorates more rapidly.
Moreover, when someone isn't listened to, something even more dangerous occurs: a loss of purpose. Every day, you wake up feeling like you're no longer needed. And when your brain thinks you're no longer needed, it starts to shut down.
This creates a vicious circle:
